When I Write. I Grow.

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Writers block is an honest to goodness infection of the writers soul. I have my own theories on the “why’s” of this creative famine of phenomena’s… Self-doubt for a writer is a haunting of obscurities that hovers over the mind as most writers are very analytical people. When a writer writes he or she is truly allowing themselves to be judged, critiqued, loved and despised…it is a place of vulnerability and that in itself can create the writers block. It is a protective mechanism. After a while, the writer simply needs a break…and before you know it the “writers block” has emerged…at least that is my personal take on it.

I could spend hours analyzing conversations. Searching for words of meaning. I can watch a movie and I’ll have a list of saved words to treasure that I delightfully devoured whilst becoming one of the characters in the film. Oh and books, how I treasure them. Even the word “book” in itself is so crisp, dusty, ancient, alive and delightful. The words that wait between the essence of those pages, they wait for someone to say, “yes, yes, I understand…I empathize…” My heart & soul communicates deeply with the words that dance in and out of my days both audibly and visually. Language. Fascination. Powerful. Hurtful. Loving.

When I write I proclaim what stirs within the depths of my being… and I know full well the times when I have only exposed a little bit of surface value (being real is scary, I admit); I know when there is more to give… but it is in the giving that brings us to a place of vulnerability, and I don’t refer to vulnerability as a bad thing; actually it is a freedom thing and a bravery thing. In our world of insta-social-communication, writers have the opportunity to feast on word platforms.  Written word is anywhere and everywhere exposed and over done and yet somehow the power of ink has and will always continue to hold substance and create movement.

When I write. I grow. In my faith community this past Sunday, I heard words that stood out above the rest; encouragement summed up as: we were created to be creative people… These are words of life saying go forward and step into the creative selves that we were designed to live out; to unfold into the realities of our unique stories! Creativity beckons us in endless forms. Through song, through dance, through laughter, through generosity, through nature, through written word, through speech, through visual stimuli, and even through structure. And onward that list goes…  thus to actively be who I am created to be I will grow.

The manager of a structured and well oiled business is a creative being, with the vision and ability to conduct a successful company that meets a need within society.

The painter: deep and abstract…is a creative being conducting an orchestra of color & vision and lines birthed into life-giving images. This also meets a need within society.

Together we create a beautiful picture of the reflection of our very Creator who created all that is. There is no limit to creativity. There is no limit to Love. I know this because I know the limitless spirit of embrace that my God has sung to me. There is not one person on this earth that is void from this story…not one… 

A little recognizable fire sparked within me, the kind of fire that friends of Holy Spirit recognize; the kind that pulls you back into your groove… to hear the words of encouragement to be the creative that I was made to be. I can tell you that I have no trouble expressing myself. If it is not in one form it will be through another, but sometimes I miss the mark on how I should focus all of that energy. Oh dear sister and brother, have no shame in who you are. Do not apologize for the very you that makes you the stunning masterpiece that you are. No apologies for singing your beloved song. You, the one created in the image of our Christ. Sing your given song! On pitch. Spot on.

I have decided to get back into the groove of two things:

1) Continue to write…and continue to learn to write with honesty, creativity and writing always grow, expand and evolve. As a person who writes, I have ALWAYS and always will look back and wish that I could edit words of the past, but that is just it, words change, perspectives grow!! At the same time continue to read. To stimulate my mind. To ask questions. To seek truth. To remember that the roots of it all are birthed from God’s living & breathing word, which is my home-base.

2) Continue to paint…it has been a long time. I feel rusty. There was a time in my life when I used to paint through and in worship. This is something that I will begin again in the worshipful embrace within my own home. My favorite way to say, “Thank you Jesus.”

My point within all of these words; oh beloved beauty be who you were created to be. When we live our lives for other peoples expectations we lose sight of that sacred part of ourselves that connects us so deeply to our God. God expectations! Creator of the earth and sea Lord of all humanity; You fascinate me.

May we have the eyes to see the awestruck wonder of Creation; the amazement of viewing one another as wonderful! In my own workings of self-doubt I remember how perfectly made I really am. I claim that. In any moment of weakness, in moments of questioning of my own self. I claim the story of who I am. I’ll take it. And I rise to be the very Jenny Rose that I am made to be. I strive for it with all of my might in my life. To sing your created song is not easy. And I do believe that if we sing out our created song, it is a love song and it is done TOGETHER. To be yourself is an audacious thing in our world of followings. I Dare you to be a Woman or a Man that LOVES SO MUCH THAT YOU LOVE YOURSELF and in that confidence of love you embrace others with an open heart because you KNOW full well THE LOVE OF CHRIST within you IS ENOUGH.

– Jenny Rose

 

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